EXT. LUXURIOUS POINT LOMA HOUSE – DAY

OPENING CREDITS play over a backyard barbecue in a garden
that belongs in a magazine only rich people have even heard
of.

A beautiful, tan CALIFORNIA BLONDE in her mid-twenties shoots
home video of her PERFECT HUSBAND playing on the lawn with
their happy DOGS and well-adjusted TODDLERS. Their precocious
little boy wears a San Diego Padres uniform.

The blonde is HILARY, sort of. Other guests include idealized
versions of TORREY, CLAIRE, and KEELA, but we'll meet them
for real in a minute. For now, it's almost sickening how
happy everyone is.

The LOUD ROAR of a JET ENGINE is heard as the CREDITS END. We
PAN UP and TRACK a commercial AIRPLANE overhead, coming in
for a landing at nearby Lindbergh Field.

                                                 CUT TO:


INT. SMALL OCEAN BEACH APARTMENT – BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

The DEAFENING NOISE from the airplane wakes up an earthier
version of the blonde we just saw in what we now realize was
her DREAM.

She's HILARY SAMPLE, 26, the chain smoking, narcissistic,
binge drinking Pied Piper of the San Diego beach area bar
scene. To her, the dream house she just saw herself in was
her worst fucking nightmare. She can't light her first
cigarette of the day fast enough.

                    HILARY
          Fuck! That was scary.

Some RANDOM GUY from last night wanders in, disheveled and
hung over, holding a glass of orange juice. Hilary doesn't
let on that she doesn't know his name. We'll call him RANDY.

Hilary slides a pair of jeans over her thong underwear. She
grabs the glass of orange juice from Randy, takes a gulp, and
gags on it.


FREEZE FRAME - TITLE CARD: "HILARY"

Picture resumes.

                    HILARY
          God, that's nasty. What's in it?

                    RANDY
          Thought it was orange juice. It was
          in your fridge.

                    HILARY
          Oh.

She finds a bottle of vodka on her dresser and mixes in a
shot and a half, stirring it with her toothbrush. Now she can
drink it.

She grabs a backpack.

                    HILARY
          Come on. I have a test. You're
          driving me to school.

INT. LA JOLLA SHORES HOUSE – SHOWER – MORNING

KEELA SAMPLE, mid-40s, is Hilary's mom. She's vivacious and
beautiful. TWO HANDS lovingly caress her back. She turns to
find a gorgeous SOAP OPERA STUD in the shower with her. He
takes her breath away.

                    KEELA
          We can't do it again. My
          boyfriend's moving in with me
          today. I can't smell like a cum
          factory.

                    STUD
          I understand.

He starts to leave. Keela stops him. She pulls him to her and
kisses him passionately. She kisses his neck, his perfect
chest. She keeps going down until...

KEELA'S POV

The face of Keela's boyfriend, LARRY STRANDWAY, is
superimposed over where the stud's penis should be. The
face speaks to her.

                    LARRY
          Keela, is this what you meant when
          you said you were gonna stop
          fucking around?


INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL CLASSROOM – LA JOLLA – CONTINUOUS

As we realize we're coming out of ANOTHER DREAM...

A steamy, R-rated Hollywood shower scene plays on a DVD.
KEELA, the teacher, dozes at her desk, her eyes darting back
and forth behind their lids. Maybe it's the lighting, but in
real life we can see she's had some work done on her face.
She's got mileage.

FREEZE FRAME – TITLE CARD: "KEELA"

Picture resumes as...

Her class of seventh grade "Special Ed" STUDENTS horse around
and shoot spitballs at each other. They're all rich, white,
troubled kids.

THOMAS stares at SOLEDAD. Correction: He stares at her boobs.
He slides closer and reaches out to grab one.

Soledad raises a fist and shoots Thomas an "I'll kick your
ass" look.

                    SOLEDAD
          Thomas, you wouldn't know what to
          do with them if I let you.

                    ANOTHER GIRL (TRACIA)
          Don't waste your time, Thomas. She
          probably got the cheap-ass leaky
          silicone kind.

                    SOLEDAD
          Excuse me? These are more real than
          your nose, which I will break if
          you don't keep it out of my
          business.

The exchange escalates into a CAT FIGHT between the two
girls. The class whoops it up. The commotion wakes up Keela.
She pulls the girls apart.

                    KEELA
          That's enough. Tracia, did you take
          your medicine today?

                    TRACIA
          Yes.

                    KEELA
          Show me.

TRACIA SEAGIRT opens a plastic pill container separated into
compartments for each day of the week. Every day still has a
purple pill in it.

                    KEELA
          Uh-huh.

                    TRACIA
          I don't need this shit anymore.

Keela puts her hand out authoritatively. Tracia hands her the
container. Keela takes out a pill. Tracia clenches her mouth
shut, expecting to be force-fed the pill, but Keela pops it
in her own mouth instead.

                    KEELA
          Everyone shut up and watch the
          goddamn movie.

EXT. MISSION BEACH BOARDWALK – DAY

JOGGER'S POV

Heads turn. Hot, half-naked young MEN stop in the crowd to
stare and whistle at us. Even supermodel WOMEN in bikinis
look in envy.

CLAIRE GRESHAM is the jogger, with a body to kill for. Lost
in the MUSIC from her headphones, she seems oblivious to all
the attention, like she's used to it.

A KID on a bicycle accidentally runs into her, knocking her
headphones off, and knocking Claire into...

REALITY

...where Claire is at least 20 pounds heavier, cellulite
bulging out of her shorts. A belly shirt covers a bad boob
job but exposes more tummy than we care to see, with a
pierced navel. She, too, is in her 40s and she's Keela's best
friend. In fact, she wishes she were Keela.


FREEZE FRAME ON CLAIRE – TITLE CARD: "CLAIRE"

Picture resumes. Claire is in front of her destination...

ICE CREAM STAND

A GOTH GIRL scoops up Claire's order. She's got pink hair,
black lipstick, hates every customer. Claire is oblivious to
her disdain.

                    GOTH GIRL
          Any toppings?

                    CLAIRE
          Why not? I've been good this week.
          My fiancé says I don't even need to
          diet. He's always telling me I look
          perfect the way I am.

Claire always manages to find a way to subtly flash her
DIAMOND ENGAGEMENT RING every time she uses the word
"fiancé".

                    GOTH GIRL
          What do you want?

                    CLAIRE
          Oh. Crushed Oreo and M&Ms.
              (pause)
          And you know, he can get any woman
          he wants. My fiancé.

INT. PACIFIC BEACH HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

TORREY GRESHAM, a young, tattooed rock-n-roll chick, who
happens to be Claire's daughter and Hilary's best friend.

Torrey wakes up to an UGLY DOG staring her in the face.

                    TORREY
          What up, dawg?

The dog kisses Torrey's face. She's been sleeping on the
couch. She reaches for the remote and clicks on the TV.

ON TV

HOLLIS VOLTAIRE, a poor man's Al Roker – fat, bald, black –
interviews a local 80's TRIBUTE BAND on News At Noon, a low
rent Today show wannabe.

The band starts playing.

Torrey cranks up the TV and dances into the...

BEDROOM

KIKO MALLORCA, an Americanized Mexican bad-ass, squints
through half-asleep eyes at Torrey grabbing handfuls of her
clothes from drawers. The dog jumps on the bed and licks
Kiko's face. He reacts to the TV.

                    KIKO
          Isn't that those Wham! imitators?

                    TORREY
          Yeah. They're on Hollis Voltaire's
          spot. Can you believe it? Now I
          know I can get us on that show.

LIVING ROOM

Torrey stuffs her clothes into a DUFFEL BAG. She peeks down
the hall until...

Kiko comes out of the bathroom, heads toward the living room.
Torrey goes back to her duffel bag and dramatically ties up
the open end.

Kiko doesn't react.

The dog looks at Torrey, sad. Torrey bends down and scratches
the dog's ears.

                    TORREY
          You be good, Pearl. Yes, I'll miss
          you too.

EXT. KIKO'S HOUSE - DAY


Torrey, carrying her duffel bag, a guitar strapped to her
back, a mix of triumph and defiance on her face, shuts the
door behind her and walks away from the house - a brand new
day.


FREEZE FRAME – TITLE CARD: "TORREY"

Picture resumes. Torrey slows down. Stops. Waits. Silently
counts down: three, two, one. She hears a door open, right on
cue. She smiles. She turns around and sees...

A NEIGHBOR from another house putting her kids in the car.
It's not what Torrey expected.


INT. KIKO'S HOUSE

Kiko has a foot up on the kitchen table. He's eating cereal
with one hand, clipping his toenails with the other. He looks
up to see Torrey coming back in.

                    KIKO
          You forget something?

She picks up ANOTHER BAG.

                    TORREY
          My microphones. Unless you wanna
          bring them.

                    KIKO
          Sure. Whatever.

She drops the bag back where it was.

                    TORREY
          Okay then. See you there.